H1N1: The New Pandemic

Mad Cow disease?

Avian Bird Flu?

SARS?

Now it's Swine Flu or as it's currently known, H1N1. It seems as if with every new year that comes by it's a brand new disease that's introduced to the entire world. Before H1N1 came around I really didn't give two s**** about all other diseases.

Mad Cow disease? Screw that I'm having myself a crave case from White Castle.

Avian Bird Flu? I'll just make sure not to go to any of the local parks in Jersey.

SARS? Isn't that crap running wild in the Asian continent?

When I first heard of H1N1 I began to think what's next? Are we going to get attacked by giant fruits like in that old 80s flick "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!"

I knew this one was going to be different... just because a bunch of cases started popping of. So many of the cases occurring were happening right by my neighborhood. It's insane how a disease that started in Mexico traveled all the way to Queens, NY. Then all of sudden here it comes across the Hudson River to Jersey.

Just recently a grammar school about 10 blocks from my house just got shut down with supposed flu like symptons running wild throughout the school... woah! Now that's definitely some concerning s***.

What worries me the most is my damn job... once again Wally World you come through! I could see myself coming to work strapped up with weapons than The Punisher and a Taliban fighter combined. Lol, okay so I know it's not that serious... but I mean you never know. Since Wally World started making new renovations the store has become smaller and much more cramped. You must be a true masochist to come to the store on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. A store filled with massive amounts of people, to have to make a long line to be able to pay for your stuff and with aisles tighter than Miley Cyrus' butthole... Wally World just wants us to get the H1N1 virus soon enough.

Now that this new virus has hit so close to home... who know where it just might end up next.

All I know is that I'll definitely have my flask of Jack Daniels, a small bottle of Holy Water, a necklace made of pure garlic and my trusty boxcutter ready to slide and dice virus filled motherf******!

[Photo courtesy of motls.blogspot.com]